


It's All Mixed Up!

by iamnotgroot



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 5 Things, 5 Times, Alternate POV, Established Relationship, Freight Ship AU (is that even an AU?), Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Misunderstandings, surprises...? yay...?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:00:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28751064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamnotgroot/pseuds/iamnotgroot
Summary: Louis is the Deck officer of a British freighter ship and he talks a lot about his Haz back home. Like literally, A LOT.4 times Louis' crew mates get sick of hearing about his "girl" and the one time when they finally meet the mystery lover.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 28
Kudos: 97
Collections: 5 Times 1D Fic Fest





	It's All Mixed Up!

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 1d five times fic fest. Loads of thanks to the mods!  
> Plus loads of love to my wonderful beta! much love <3  
> Please check out all the other works in this challenge. :)
> 
> ~title from All Mixed Up by The Cars

1.

“Hey, what’s up?” Zayn asked as he walked over to where Gigi and Niall were sitting dejectedly around the common room table.

“Oh nothing, just admiring the way Louis is going off about his _lovely_ girl back home,” replied Niall, offering him a can of beer from the cooler. Zayn looked over to the Deck Officer in question, who was engaged in a game of scrabble with one of the new steward, clearly in an animated monologue. 

Gigi shook her head.

“I’m literally trying not to puke my guts out here, you know. Honestly, there’s a limit to this sort of disgusting sap,” she scoffed. "I really don’t think I can survive much longer hearing _oh, how pretty Hazzy’s coloured nails are_ , or _how long and silky Hazzy’s hair is_ ," her eyes grew comically wide. "And I can’t fucking try to escape it at all on this damned ship because that idiot has a voice that’s worse than a, a- stupid megaphone!”

“That bad? I thought it had mellowed down a bit,” Zayn grinned.

“In your dreams, Z,” groaned Liam strolling in sleepily and promptly plopped down on one of the rickety chairs.

Niall wiggled his eyebrows. “Hey, watch this.” 

Zayn tried to silence him with a glare, but it was too late. Niall cupped his hands around his mouth.

“TOMMO!” 

Louis turned around to the group.

“Tell Z here about Hazzy’s left pinky finger will ye?”

Louis’ eyes lit up brightly and he ran over to grab Zayn by his arms, scrabble and the poor steward immediately forgotten. He started gesticulating wildly and talking miles per second to Zayn, who in all honesty looked like a deer caught in headlights.

Gigi snorted, taking a sip of her drink. “Absolutely pathetic, man.”

Liam shrugged. “To be fair if I had a girl back home who was technically as amazing and ‘perfect’ as Hazzy, then maybe I would be crazy about her too,” he mused.

Niall scoffed. “Pfft, you with a _girl_.” 

Liam rolled his eyes and ignored them in favour of looking at Louis, who was still in his dreamy trance.

2.

Liam looked over as Louis flopped back on his bed and smiled pensively at the letter in hand. He caught Zayn's eyes from across the cabin and beckoned him to come over.

“Hey, Lou. Y’alright, man?”

Louis looked up, surprise lacing his face, and then proceeded to glance back at the letter. “Oh, nothing much. Just a letter from my pumpkin,” he replied, a sad sigh punctuating his sentence. He shook his head as he folded the letter neatly back into its envelope. “It’s just- it’s just that my son is sick again. His stomach has been a bit on the weary side this month, and to be honest, I'm just plainly scared,” Louis said, his voice small and insecure.

Zayn and Liam gaped at him, jaws dropping in shock. . 

“You have a son?!” Zayn exclaimed. It came out more as accusatory, though.

Liam quickly recovered from his momentary shock and went to wrap his friend in an engulfing hug, into which Louis instantly melted. “Hey, hey, it’s alright. We’ll reach a signal zone soon and then we’ll try to reach him, okay? Don’t worry, Lou,” he whispered, rubbing soothing circles on his back.

Louis let out a slight hiccup. “It’s- it’s just- I missed his ninth birthday too, and I miss him so much. Hazzy, too. Ugh, I hate this fucking freighter,” he said as he attempted to extract himself from Liam’s arms. 

Zayn’s jaw had fallen open even more.“You have a _son_ , that is seriously _nine_ years old?” 

Louis blinked his blue eyes at him. 

“Uh, yes? Have I not told you lads about him?” Zayn and Liam were still amazed that they had totally missed their twenty-three year old officer having a grown nine year old child. 

Unperturbed, Louis carried on, a familiar dreamy sparkle dancing across his face. “Chris, is the most wonderful darling ever. Hazzy always says that he loves him more but that’s just because he bribes him with a lot of watermelons,” he let out a huff but an unmistakable fond still tugged his lips. “Oh, he’s a ginger boy, too, and his ears are so bloody cute and also his little button nose. Chris gets it after me, you know,” he winked. “Don’t let Haz tell you guys anything other than...”

Tuning out the soliloquy, Zayn frowned at Liam. “Did you know that he was a dad? Holy shit, how come we missed that entirely?” 

“Cut him some slack. I guess I can see why he talks about Hazzy so much, and now his boy, too,” he smiled dopily as he threw an arm around his friend's shoulder. “Proper soulmate shit, that lad. Got a proper family with a lovely girl and a baby, and all _so_ very young.”

Zayn still looked a bit skeptical.

  
  


3.

“Listen up, people!” Louis’ voice booming over the ship as he navigated his way through the flurry of activity of verifying, loading and unloading cargo at the Greek port of Antirrio. As per usual, he had ended up with a pile of packaged goods that his Haz and his family had sent to the docking port. 

“Oi, Ni, Liam,” he turned around frantically to spot his other crew members. “Zaynie, Gi! Can you guys guard these for me, please? I’m terribly sorry, but I'm so jammed with stupid officer duties.”

“Tommo, do you think that we don’t work around here? Bloody hell-” his rant died down as he got a whiff of the delicious smell of cookies and baked bread cakes. “Hey, give that, Tommo. It’ll be perfectly safe with me,” he declared as he made grabby hands at the brown parcels.

Louis beamed. “Hazzy has kept the bottom package entirely for you, Ni, for taking care of me apparently.” He chuckled. “A sap, my baby is. Help yourself.”

“I fucking love your girl!” called out Niall. 

Louis squinted at him rather quizzically before he hurried off to the port officer, who was waving the official papers madly in the air.

  
  


4.

“Ladies, boys, and disgusting lovesick hens, collect your damned letters if you want,” yelled Gigi, as she dumped the pile onto the cafeteria table. A crowd instantly flocked to it trying to grab their own pieces of words from their loved ones.

“Hey, hey, make way! Officer Louis coming through!” He said as he tried to squiggle his way between the packed crowd.

“Oww, Louis!”

“Louis, can you like, _not_ stamp my leg,?!”

“Louis!”

“Jesus, stop fucking pushing, Louis!”

“ But, my _Haz-_ ” he started to whine.

“Shut the fuck up, Louis. I haven’t slept since you described your perfect, little Hazzy’s bloody, fucking bum cheeks to me!” 

“Ah, it’s a wonder,” he grinned. “It’s like those squishy, squishy, marshmallows you get, right. So sweet and cuddly.” He narrowed his eyes. “Hey, wait a minute! You are the new Hamburg steward, right? Watch your mouth. You can’t talk to the Officers like that!”

The boy rolled his eyes dramatically. “Fuck off.”

Before Louis could give him a speech on respecting adults and the profanities of the present youth, he spotted a big, sparkly, pink coloured envelope, laced with a ‘To my baby Boo x’ in purple curly writing. 

“GOT IT! Please make way, boys or you can j _u_ st pass me that pink envelope and I’ll be out of y’all’s hair.”

Niall grabbed it and slammed it onto Louis’ face. “Please, just fucking take it away before it blinds the entire vessel,” he mumbled.

“Oh, thank you Ni,” he jumped and placed a wet sloppy kiss on his cheeks.

“Ugh, bugger off, please.”

~

Zayn, stopped in his tracks. “Wait, why is he bawling?”

“Chris sent him some paintings so that his Papa won't get lonely.” 

Zayn glanced around to study Liam’s face. His big, brown doe eyes were slightly teary. 

“Oh, my God, that’s it! It’s proven - Louis is a witch and he witchcrafts in turning innocent people into love sick idiots!” Zayn threw his hands up in the air.

Niall ambled over, clutching a piece of paper with messy colours splashed across it. It absolutely looked like someone threw up all over. “Don’t be so heartless, Zayn. Look, he even made one for each of us!”

“Here you go, take yours. It’s a Pacman, by the way,” Gigi added. Oh, yes, he could make out a yellow and red gloop bordered with some paw prints. He didn't even want to question that. “Mine’s the prettiest, darlings. It’s a princess crown!” Zayn rolled his eyes. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Fuck Louis and his witchcraft.

“Plus, Louis said that Hazzy and Chris will meet us up at the dock,” carried on Gigi, dreamy-eyed. Huh, maybe saying ‘Hazzy’ out loud made everyone seem like they were in a Disney fairytale if Gigi’s, Niall’s and Liam’s faces were to be trusted. Witchcraft.

“Can’t wait to meet them I suppose,” he replied grimly, lips pursed.

  
  


5.

“Coming through, coming through! On your left! Move up people!!” Louis screamed carrying his suitcase and bag over his shoulder. 

“Thank fuck, we don’t have to deal this little shit for at least half a year,” grumbled some of the steward boys. 

Louis scurried through the electric bustle of the London port. He took a deep inhale. It knocked out a breath in him and sometimes, he couldn’t even fathom how he went for months on end without this. This London and its far away scent of a brewing storm. His mum and his little sisters. And Harry. His wonderful, wonderful boy, with those precious dimples and the loveliest ever smiles. And those green, green, _green_ eyes that not even the ocean could ever rival, the ones which were staring right back into his now. His legs seem to have a mind of their own because before he knows it, he’s right in Harry’s arms. It’s so safe and warm and so inexplicable, that it's not even worth forming words that could let him describe in the most complete way. But yes, oh yes, he definitely knows the best way. He tilted his head up, ( _the bloody bastard must have grown another two feet while he was away, he thought)_ , and captured those perfect plush, pink lips in his. Tasting the sweetest, and the most beautiful boy in his arms. It’s like sunshine, mixed with rainbows and honey pots and pixie dust and- And home. 

“Lou,” Harry mumbled. Damnit if he was going to let go like just after four minutes of kissing. He deserved at least two hours of non-stop make out sessions. “Lou,” Harry tried again, giggling wetly. “You’re squishing Chris.” 

“That bloody idiot can wait.” Louis opened his eyes and once again, those clear eyes knocked a bit of breath out of him. 

Harry covered Chris’ ears. “Hey! Don’t you dare hurt his feelings!”

“It’s a bloody cat, Harry! All it cares is about when you’ll feed him next! ” 

He laughed. Harry lifted a hand and wiped under Louis’ eyes. He hadn’t even realised that there were tears streaming down his face. Harry's lips curved up. His smile was so, _so_ soft.

“I missed you.” 

Sniffling, Louis whispered back. “I missed you, too, Harry.” 

Harry’s lips quivered a bit before it was pressed once again against his own. He could taste tears, and he had no idea if it was Harry’s or his own.

“WHAT THE FUCK!”

Louis turned around to see four faces gaping widely at him. 

Silence. 

He exchanged a glance with Harry, who was still smiling with dopey eyes. 

“What the fuck are you doing, Louis!” screeched Niall.

Oh. 

He hadn’t really thought his crew mates gave a damn about being gay per se. Heck, it hadn’t even occurred to him because he was pretty sure for the nine whole months on the vessel, whenever he had talked about Harry, no one had said anything quite bad… Or maybe, he was too loved up to notice. He’s been told that that happens quite a lot. Still, it hurt quite a bit. 

Also, he was pretty sure that Liam was also... _not_ straight.

“Who the fuck is this?!” demanded Gigi. Louis flinched slightly. 

“Hello! I’m Harry,” he said as he lowered Chris onto the ground to extend his hand to her.

“Louis, where is Hazzy?” Liam glared at him and honestly his steely voice alarmed him a bit.

But wait, what? 

“This is Hazzy..?” he said tentatively, as he pointed to his boyfriend. Hmm, boyfriend sounds weird. He’s going to have to pop _the_ question sometime soon. 

“It’s, it’s- It’s a boy?” Zayn spluttered.

“Uhm, yes. You’ve got any problem with that?” He steeled himself for volleying out words in honour of his man.

“No, no. _No_ . Jesus. It’s just that we always thought that Hazzy, uhm, _Harry_ , was a girl. You know, with long hair, pretty pink nails, perky little bum,” Gigi rambled. 

He could feel Harry’s blush creeping up his neck. “Lou,” he whimpered.

“Yup, yes, this is the very same Hazzy,” he confirmed. 

Suddenly Niall let out a loud guffaw. “Oh God, this is so _hilarious_!” He bent down in laughter, clutching his stomach. The others went along with nervous laughter. Louis, on the other hand, was still confused. And also Harry’s hand along his waistline was running his mind on overdrive. Give him a break, it's been ten months. It took an inhuman strength from his part to not rip Harry's clothes of _right_ that instant. 

“So, where’s Chris?” Gigi asked, looking around the busy port. “You said that he would be there with you, right?”

“Oh shit, hold up. He likes to roam around a lot,” Harry said as he turned to look around for the overgrown ginger cat. Luckily, he was just behind them pawing at an old piece of mouldy apple. Eh, disgusting. 

“That’s a cat,” Zayn and Liam deadpanned together.

“Yes it is,” Louis replied. He was getting quite frustrated with the dumbwits that have _apparently_ become his best mates. “I can’t fucking understand why y’all are questioning everything! Look, I’ll just explain this one more time. Guys, this is Harry Edward Styles, my boyfriend,” he said gesturing around Harry’s head, “ And this, is Christopher Robinson, who we have had ever since...” he trailed off. 

“Hey Haz, when did this giant barge in through our kitchen snapdoor?” he asked.

Harry hummed. “Since forever, I suppose. Right, you little shit? Right?” he coddled and buried his head into the soft spot behind Chris' striped ears. 

His darling boys, he thought dazedly.

“I knew it! I knew that some things weren’t adding up,” Zayn beamed. “So Hazzy is a sexy, hot man and Chris is a bloody cat. Come on, I need a pub and alcohol and some greasy fish and chips to gloat over.”

“Hey, you’ll hurt his feelings!” Louis seethed, covering the cat’s ears.

“Anyways, I second that. I need some proper English buzz,” called out Niall.

“I third that,” grinned Gigi.

“I can’t believe how everything got so muddled up,” Louis chuckled quietly to himself. 

Liam sighed. “I'm pretty sure it had something to do with how you were going on about how sexy Hazzy looked, on that first day, while undressing his wine red dress and panties.”

Harry winked at Liam over Louis' head as they all walked down the road, arms entangled and suitcases in tow. 

~fin.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!  
> [tumblr](https://mayflowersinapril.tumblr.com/) | [fic post](https://mayflowersinapril.tumblr.com/post/643197866048913408/its-all-mixed-up-by-iamnotgroot) :)


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